There is a common idea in spirituality that becoming your true self, and one with the world, means always feeling at peace and being positive. That when you find that bit of yourself that is uncomfortable, that you should cast it out as if it wasn’t there.

And to be fair, that does make you feel better for a time.

But this is only because you’ve merely dealt with the surface level issue. The deeper issue is still there waiting for you to engage with it. Part of this is down to some terminology that I’ve recently been challenging, the ‘letting go’ of things. On the surface, this feels like a great idea! After all, nobody wants to hold onto their baggage, it’s uncomfortable and makes you feel bad.

But you can’t.

 

 

These experiences shape you just as much as the positive ones. They are a part of you whether you want them to be or not. And you can discard them from yourself as much as you can discard an arm or your heart. You can…but it’s not advised…

What I believe is the healthier and more spiritual approach, is to go into the issue inside yourself and try to understand it. To then change your perception of that thing so that it no longer has a negative impact within your life. With the aim isn’t to erase it, but to reach a point that it no longer bothers you anymore, even though it still remains a part of your story and a part of you.

Now this process is not always comfortable. You have to challenge things you don’t want to. Go back into feelings and past trauma that trigger you even now. You have to walk through the fire of your heart and come out the other side, and that’s sometimes very hard. But it’s also when the healing happens.

Healing isn’t abut becoming someone new. It’s about becoming someone who is no longer controlled by the wounds they’ve experienced. The scars may remain, but they no longer dictate how you think, feel or live. That is where real freedom begins.